So for some reason I’m feeling SO extremely sad. This morning I woke up annoyed but that went away after Chris and I talked but when i got home from the gym all I could do is cry. I’m not happy with myself right now. I’m disappointed with myself and I feel like a failure. Like I’ve accomplished nothing in my life. I’m happy with school, with my relationship and with my friends but I’m NOT happy with myself. I have no idea where this feeling of doubt came in, it literally came out of nowhere. Maybe I’m just burnt out, this is my 5th semester in a row and I’m stressed. I need a long break. I need to rejuvenate myself. I’ve also been working 2 jobs and I haven’t had a real day off. That probably has something to do with it as well. Hopefully this Friday when I hang out with my girls I’ll be able to relax a little bit. I don’t know, I hope so.
Committed
Okay, so now I am FULLY committed to losing weight. I’m really tired of feeling like a lard so I’m going to do something about it and I’m going to stick with it! My goal is to lose 10 lbs by the time our cruise comes along. Chris and I are going on a cruise right after exams are over, like the 16-21 or 17-22, something like that. I’m going to weight 110 lbs by then or less is always good too but my ideal weight is 110. I’m going to do my best to workout everyday but if I go at least 5 days a week I should be fine. I’m also going to cut calories but not alot. Just portioning my meals and eating healthier snakes and meals. I will still have my ice cream because I can’t live with out it but maybe just a scoop every couple of days so that I don’t completely fall off the bandwagon. I’m only going to weigh myself once a week so that I don’t become obsessed with the numbers b/c I tend to do that. I didn’t weigh myself this morning b/c I forgot so its going to be every Tuesday morning from now on. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I can stick to this and not let ANYTHING distract,well, unless its school then its okay if I miss a workout but other than that NOTHING will distract me. Keep your fingers crossed 