You can’t always get what you want
Alright, so school is extremely tiring. I want hurry up and graduate but Spring 2009 isn’t coming up any time soon. It really sucks that I’m graduating a year late. I really regret screwing up, losing HOPE and fucking up my classes. If I had just stayed focused I would be graduating in May 2008. Everything happens for a reason and these things happened to me for a reason. I probably needed some growing up to do and I would have to say that I have. I now feel as though I have my shit together. I’m out on my own and doing well, I’m on track to graduation in 2009 and I’m saving to pay off my school loans when the time comes. Although I do feel like everything is together its not. The one goal that I REALLY, REALLY want to accomplish is getting HOPE back, but I fear that won’t happen and I will incur more debit as I continue to go to school. Graduate school will not be cheap but at least I won’t have to worry about that for another 6 years. Thinking about school just stresses me out and sometimes I just want to quit but I can’t do this to myself. I’ve worked so hard to get my schooling back in order that I’m not going to do anything to fuck it up. I’m on top of my game now but it is still depressing to think about school.
I’ve been thinking a lot of what I want to do with my life after I graduate and all I know is that it has to be Marketing. I don’t think that I could ever do anything else. The word Marketing gets me excited. I would absolutely LOVE to be involved in the advertising part of Marketing. If I could help come up with commercials for cars would be freaking awesome but my real goal would be to work in the sporting field. If I could market for a professional basketball or football team I would be the happiest person EVER! There is a possibility that, that might not happen…actually there is a huge possibility that it won’t happen because those job positions are pretty hard to come by unless I’ve got some mad connections. I do have a back up plan because I don’t know if I could work in regular advertising for the rest of my life. Graduate school will come in very handy if I don’t get those positions that I want. I’m going to have a concentration in logistics when I graduate from Clayton and going to graduate school to get my Master’s in Global Marketing will bring about many opportunities. I really look forward to getting all this accomplished but sometimes (all the time) I feel like the end is never near. I feel as though I will never get there because I don’t always have the motivation or will power to do so. There is no one or anything to blame but myself. If I would just not goof off when I need to get things done everything will be great but that tends to never happen. All though I do take the blame for about 95% of my lack motivation to myself, I have to say that my parents are responsible for the other 5%. Sometimes I wish that they would motivate me just for the hell of it but they don’t. Only when I’m down in the dumps do they really step up but whatever, I don’t need to be worrying or blaming them for anything. I alone put myself in undesirable situations mostly out of spite or some seriously unrational thinking but you got to take the good with the bad or how else will you know how good things can really get.
That’s really the extend to my venting. I’m now going to go bed without having picked up my management book for studying. I happen to have test tomorrow and I haven’t studied at all today….awesome….
t.v. area
our dining area, we are missing one chair b/c its down at his mom’s 
this the bar part of the kitchen, no chairs and its mad high too.
the kitchen, that is a huge ass pantry, there is still more shelving to the right of the door.
this is our bedroom, its a a good size and we have an awesome closet, i would show you BUT i was doing laundry so i got clothes everywhere.
the potty.